First Love at 37: V-day - schmoopy, sappy, silly?

Oh my gosh, it feels like I have fallen off the face of the earth for the beginning here of 2012, definitely all with good reasons :)

Finally coming up for air & I'm feeling inspired!

I know it's been a while since I've updated our story & there's much to tell, but bear with me as I skip ahead in celebration of St. Valentine ;)

(I promise to rewind & fill ya in)

The day honoring LOVE is upon us & for the 1st time I'm excited to acknowledge it.

As far back as I can remember, my best friend & I donned all black to show our disdain for the "commercial" holiday ~ sure, yeah that's what we were protesting ;) Guaranteed if our prince had shown up on & or around Feb 14th, we'd be more than happy to jump on the red heart bandwagon.

Even as she moved on, got married & started a family, I've continued on with the all-black wardrobe tradition.

Well, okay with the exception of the occasional attempt to outsmart the universe with wearing heart decorated tops, jewelry, etc in hopes to convince the powers-that-be that I was ready, willing, & open for love ~ yeah the universe saw right through that ploy...back to all black I went.

Even with all the work I've done on myself, my love issues & trying to believe it exists, I still find myself being afraid to get my hopes too high.

I realized this just this evening as I walked in to find a beautiful bouquet sitting in my hotel room

My surprise ;)

I thought my babydoll may be up to something when he asked my room number, but I would not let myself get any wild ideas of what he may be up to - crazy, right?
But I didn't want to be let down & I also didn't want to pressure him for anything either, since I don't need it, but the un-required, unrequested gesture melted my heart & helped me realize I still need to keep working on opening up & believing in his goodness & his love for me!

I am feeling like a very lucky girl & I want to make sure I keep remembering this fact.
I have been beyond spoiled lately by my babe & its throwing me off on how to react. Accepting goodness is hard. I want to give it but receiving it is awkward.

Knowing how hard I've been working lately & the stress I've been under, my babe took it upon himself to take a lil care of me.
After winding down last week with a 16 hour workday on Friday, I arrived home to a warmth in my kitchen & the delicious scent of chocolate in the air...molten chocolate lava cake baking...