To kiss or not to kiss...

Kisses, especially first kisses, OR even better first kisses with someone you're really attracted to can be one of those moments in life that take your breathe away & leave you wanting to remember it forever.


I came across a great post today on the blog "A Cup Of Jo" - 10 guys confessing what it is like to kiss a crush for the 1st time - http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/2011/10/10-guys-confess-what-it-feels-like-to.html


Such build up, so many scenarios running thru one's mind, the how to - slow & easy, quick & light, wet & slippery? when is the best moment? how's my breathe? will she kiss me back? what if I've mis-read all the signals?


And, us ladies sit there with a whole bunch of angst going thru our heads too - is he ever going to kiss me? does he like me? he really didn't laugh at my joke, guess I missed my window there, how's my breathe? maybe I've mis-read his signals & he wants to just be friends? tongue, no tongue? is that lady-like? aaaahhhhh

Thank god we eventually get out of our heads & just act on instinct!

 So I found out on our 3rd date, the 4th of July,  that he had planned out a magical first kiss moment for that evening - oh, wait, uh what? Didn't we have our 1st kiss last night???


True, very true ~ we had! (thanks for keeping up!)
He had seen the perfect moment & seized it up on the beautiful rooftop the evening before, a moment I found to be unbelievably romantic & breathtaking, but come to find out it was not supposed to have happened that way ~ boy had I fallen, hook, line & sinker ;)


My darling date had felt the chemistry building between us & thought what better way than to kiss her for the 1st time just as fireworks went off around us. His plan was to hold out the night before, continue to woo me with his wit & charm (which was working), and then Monday evening as the sparklers twirled around us, he'd lean in & kiss me........I'm so glad he didn't!

I mean, it would have been one of those wonderful, "straight out of the movies" moments, which don't get me wrong, I'd have totally eaten that up, but I love that our 1st kiss was spontaneous, in our own private world, creating our own fireworks.


Now we could just curl up in each other's arms, sneaking kisses throughout the fireworks display, not worrying about the should I?/will he?... 

xoxo








**the bottom 3 pics are from our evening @ the Rose Bowl in Pasadena (unfortunately these pics don't do the display justice, but I was a lil busy kissing my man)

Date #2

He called!!
He texted!! A 2nd date was on! He wants to see me again!!!! Yay ;)


I love the electric anticipation that occurs between a really good date & the potential of seeing each other again, the witty texts, the short sweet calls, the wondering what the other is up to - every moment just feels alive with possibility.

Since our 1st date was on Thursday night, he spaced it out nicely to having our next date on Sunday evening - perfect! Friday would've been too soon, Saturday night to crowded everywhere & kind of alot of pressure, Sunday fell just right, especially since it was a holiday weekend.


**The holiday being 4th of July - what? you say, its October already...I know, I know, sorry I've been busy having fun ;) **


Meeting him at the Redbury Hotel for dinner at Cleo, a Mediterranean tapas style restaurant, the reservations this time were for 6:30, a smidge later that 1st date, but still early, he's so cute.         

 First off, a gooooorgeous restaurant, industrial meets old world styling, classic with a mix of modern pops. 


We started working our way down the cocktail list on the giant chalkboard, each one getting tastier, sips being shared across the table.
A glimpse
A smile

The food was de-licious!! Had to love our waitress who explained out their complicated menu & still we over ordered!
The warm bread that came out in lil brown bags was beyond crazy good, along with all that followed, the hummus, the asparagus, brussels sprout (no, seriously good!), & the spanakopita, oh & whatever else...we ate so much our bellies ached, in a very happy belly way ;)

 Little did I know he arrived early & did some re-con on the hotel bar upstairs, he's full of surprises this one...


So instead of dessert, we went upstairs to the Library Bar for a night cap, very old Hollywood style. I was eatin this up!
We get up there & its virtually empty ~ it was a sanctuary from the bustling city below. I could not (still cannot) get over how fantastic this bar is & how heavenly it was that it wasn't packed (so un-L.A.like).


We got our drinks & moozied out to the romantically lit patio, couches,lounges, fire pits, it was all creating a magical ambiance.
Shortly after we sat, they called last call (what????)
We got lost in conversation & next thing we knew they had closed up shop & let us be, just hanging on the patio, our own private world.
I tell you it was like a scene out of a movie ~ the lighting was gorgeous, my date was handsome, I like to believe I heard music wafting up from below in the background...it couldn't have been better


Oh wait
Then he leaned in & kissed me
Perfect

FIRST DATE XO?

Modern dating ;)

The day had finally arrived to meet in person. 
We had been chatting for a couple of weeks via okcupid & now the time had come to actually have some voice-on-voice, face-on-face contact - oh dear god!


We had figured out Thursday, but the "where" part not so much...
He offers to come my side of town (a very chivalrous move in a large traffic-filled city!)
A move I would've said "no" to prior to Marni, I always liked a middle ground meeting spot, with an easy exit strategy, but I was gonna play by her rules, god help me, so I said sure come to my area.


Now not being familiar with my area, he suggests I pick a spot. 
Oh my god - the pressure! Where I picks reflects so much about me - am I hip? In the know of the coolest spot? I don't wanna go too expensive, but NOTHING corporate chain-like...I wonder what he likes? I freeze!
I message out to all my girls - any good spot recommendations for a 1st date? Low-key, casual, cool?
I'm getting no responses back.
I'm totally leaving him hanging, but I'm working on it...really
I email him late the night before with no options, I failed
His response, somewhat jokingly "Nothing like leaving a guy to sweat it out over here" (oops)...we go with his assistant's suggestion "The Griffin", a groovy local bar I had been wanting to check out (& completely spaced on)- YAY assistant! Give him a raise!


**A lil side note, he apparently got razzed by all his friend's for putting the ball in my court, which is probably why he swooped in & saved the date. I guess they were saying it put me in an awkward position, BUT I did see his reasoning, it totally made sense to have the local girl pick the spot. It was all my own self-imposed angst causing my trouble ;)


We've got the day, the place, all we needed was the time - 6pm he suggests. 6pm really? Huh, kinda early, but I guess if its a dud, we cut our losses & salvage our own respective evenings. Done - the date is on!


I got all dolled up (a skirt, some heels ~ finally a tall one I could wear heels with), mad-dashed it to get a mani, got the manicurists  all involved & excited for me, I mean their work could be helping me find love!
I was actually REALLY looking forward to this date!
**sorry, another lil side note, ladies ~ dress like a lady, something that makes you feel pretty, no jeans! Have fun embracing your femininity! I'm just sayin...


I'm cutting it close to the 6 at this point, pulling out some mad driving techniques, I can't be late.
His 1st glimpse of me ~ reversing crazily down a residential street, a quick smile & a wave, yep he saw that it was me...


Surprise ~ we have the whole bar pretty much to ourselves - 6pm who knew? I love it.
We grab a drink & cozy into a corner. The conversation just flowed, we laughed, we drank, ate some, talked more...next thing you know its almost midnight!
I haven't had a date this great in who knows how long!
I think I like this guy ;)


Walks me to my car & is ever the gentleman, he gives me a hug goodnight, that's all, a long warm hug.
Oh man I want to see him again!
I hope he feels the same...

Online dating follies

Why wasn't I paying attention
in chemistry class?

So to catch you up ~ I had hired a dating coach, Marni,  who turned out to be more of my life coach at the beginning - we got my life in motion, launched a new business, left my time-consuming, life-sucking job, starting doing more things I enjoyed, caught up with friends...I got to a really happy place.


Time to tackle the dating arena now! Online she sent me.
I was a lil hesitant about it, based on past experiences, and also the fact that I feel its just a weird way to meet a potential mate (cuz of course, I'm still stuck on the "swelling music in the background as your eyes lock for the 1st time in a random meeting at the coffee shop" hoopla)


First round ~ match.com ~ 3 month subscription, bring it, I'm ready!
I come out "winking" like a mad woman at any somewhat decent profile.
No responses...okay, that's alright...
A friend tells me I should just LOOK at their profile, so they see I checked them out & then let them be the 1st to make the move, you know you don't wanna come on TOO strong & emasculate them...blah, blah, blah...
Hmmmmm...was beginning to think I'm checking out all the fake profiles posted to entice quality women in...
I start taking it personally - NEVER DO THAT! (but its kinda hard not to)


So, I'm telling Marni about my non-progress & she suggests okcupid.com. She's got clients having success there & its FREE! Sign me up!
I give her a look at my profile, eh I kinda passed. She gave me a "B", but I'm an "A+ overachiever" kinda gal, so we tweaked away until we got to a profile that was a shining me (it helps to have an outsider's perspective of you, just sayin)
Then I got schooled in the "you don't just wink!" (then why is it there??), you send them a quick lil message commenting on something you've read in their profile  - these are the obvious reasons why I need a dating coach!


Second round ~ okcupid.com ~ First I gotta say, ladies there are some QUALITY men WITH jobs on this site - check it out!
I was a message fool! Once I was shown the way, I was out of control, chatting up all sorts of types of guys - I was actually having fun!
Then...I get this really funny, interesting message in my inbox from someone I hadn't approached...he was handsome, witty, had a job, was TALL (hard to find these days in L.A.). I was definitely intrigued.
The only thing holding me back was that he had kids, I wasn't sure where my maternal instincts lied, but that could bring a dimension I wasn't sure I was ready for, I mean, ex's & all...eh
But of all the conversations I was having, the ones with him were the most interesting.
Ok, talked myself into it, meeting up for 1 drink couldn't hurt ~ it'll just be a fun evening out =)


Our FIRST date was set - 6pm(????) on a Thursday @ The Griffin... 

The Journey begins...

Ok, growing up as a lil girl all the stories I was told included this fair maiden being rescued by her one true love, her knight in shining armor, her Prince Charming...

Do you think this did a lil damage? Skewed my perception of "love" in some sort? Of course!

I fell hook, line & sinker for this fairy tale, and spent my life on the search for my "one true love"

"Snow White & the Seven Dwarves"

"Cinderella" meeting her Prince Charming

The kiss from her true love
to wake "Sleeping Beauty"

Saved by her Prince - "Enchanted"

Cut to 34 years old, sitting in a dark theater with my mom, catching myself smiling ridiculously while watching "Enchanted"  - ahhhh love, full of songs & birds chirping...yes, I was still on my search...


I still believed...kinda...


Now don't get me wrong, I'd had my fun, my flings, my hopeless crushes, my unrequited loves, but had not yet been swept off my feet by a man on a horse.
And I was holding tight to this belief that that was how it worked - thank you Mr. Disney.


I tried my hand at online dating, personals in the paper (before the dawn of match.com), blind dates, & my favorite, speed dating.
Sometimes fun, sometimes painful, sometimes a really great story to tell the girls over cocktails.
I even flew to another country to find my prince, only to learn he lived at home with mom!! (a detail I would have preferred to know before boarding)


All of this endless searching lead me to a phone call about getting over a break-up, (which I was not really trying to do, I was trying to get over a CRUSH) & I heard the guest host speaking about how men can sense your energy, no matter how dolled up you got, they could sense my desperation - OH NO! (& so true!)


Cue my new dating GURU - Marni Battista. I knew I had to work with her after she called me out on all my goo after taking the D-Factor (Date-ability) test.

Datingwithdignity.com

Now having worked with Marni for over a year, I have come to be the happiest I've been in my life AND wouldn't you know that's precisely when HE road in... 


Our story begins...